This is not my usual sort of post, friends, but I hope some of you will find it humorous! You see, I've been cleaning out lots of old files lately, and I came across the poem I wrote following a particularly memorable teatime birthday luncheon with some girlfriends years ago. (Yearrrrrrrs ago. I'm 49 now, and this was the year I turned 31!) My friends Liz and Melissa, along with Melissa's baby daughter Elizabeth, took me to tea at a nearby tea room, which shall remain nameless. We had a lovely time until the end of our meal when Liz bit into her dessert, an ice cream and nut concoction called "Mackinac Delight," and promptly chomped down on a big piece of broken glass (probably from the jar containing the dessert's sauce, we later learned)! There was so much blood it took all our napkins to sop it up, and the nervous tea room owner even offered to call an ambulance!
Liz recovered, by the way, and no, she didn't file a lawsuit.
The tea room soon went out of business. (You're shocked, aren't you?)
Here's what I wrote about the day to share with my friends:
My 31st Birthday
It was to be a birthday tea
Melissa, 'Lizbeth, Liz and me
To Sharpsburg we would go and eat
A simple meal, a birthday treat!
Ladylike and finely dressed
We found a seat to sit and rest
while ordering such tearoom fare
as we considered proper there.
A glass of water, lemon spiked,
was just the sort of thing I liked
to quench a simple little thirst—
I was the one to order first.
My lady friends, they followed me
(Melissa even ordered tea).
The sandwiches would soon be here
so we enjoyed the atmosphere
Of pretty tables, floral things,
wishing we had diamond rings.
The kindly owner brought our food
and hoped it would be very good.
We liked our meal, it soon was blessed,
but with dessert would come the test!
Scarlett's Favorite was my first choice
the name alone says why, of course.
Melissa wanted cheesecake, though;
the list of desserts continued to grow.
But Liz saw something she found appealing;
This dessert would leave her reeling.
The menu said "Mackinac Delight"
and Liz thought this would be just right.
Soon a smiling woman came
And said to enjoy our dessert game.
For, typically, we planned to share
so all could sample the lovely fare.
Melissa's, mine, they both were great
But something was wrong with Liz's plate.
And while on chocolate we were feeding
she cried aloud, "My tongue is bleeding!"
What should we do, where should we go,
the correct response we did not know.
But what we did know occurred at last
that Liz had somehow eaten glass!
The horrified owner felt sick and hurt
while watching Liz's tongue's blood spurt.
"Ith OK," said my nurturing friend.
"Reary, thith ith not the end."
So we somehow managed to enjoy the lunch
Too bad about the ice cream's crunch.
Question of the Day: Have YOU ever been to tea where something bad happened? If so, how did you handle it? (I write bad poems, obviously!)